From Defense to Growth: Coaching for Lasting Change
Exploring Mechanisms and how coaching can help you to create healthy habits for growth
Have you ever observed yourself reacting to a stressful situation at work in a way that didn’t quite make sense? Maybe you found yourself blaming a colleague for something or making excuses you didn’t fully believe. These are examples of defense mechanisms – strategies our brains use to protect us from anxiety or uncomfortable emotions.
So, What Are Defense Mechanisms?
Freud originally coined defense mechanisms, which have since been developed by other psychologists. Defense mechanisms are our mind's way of helping us cope with stress and protect our sense of self. While these mechanisms can sometimes help us in the short term, they often create unintended challenges, especially in the workplace.
Before diving into specific types, let us explore some ideas proposed by Freud.
Defense Mechanisms: Freud’s Theory
According to Freud, the mind has three major components: the id, ego, and superego.
The id is the impulsive (and unconscious) part of our psyche that responds directly and immediately to basic urges, needs, and desires.
The ego is the only part of the conscious personality. It’s what people are aware of when they think about themselves and what they usually try to project toward others.
The superego is the moral component of the psyche, representing internalized societal values and standards. The superego incorporates the values and morals of society, which are learned from one’s parents and others.
According to Freud, the personality is formed by a constant struggle between these three parts. The ego must try to delay the id's sexual and aggressive urges, perceive and manipulate reality to relieve the resulting tension and cope with the superego's demand for perfection.
According to Freud when the id (instinctual desires), ego (reality), and superego (morality) are in conflict, the ego feels stress or anxiety. To reduce this internal tension, the ego unconsciously uses defense mechanisms to manage the demands of these competing forces.
The concepts of the id, ego, and superego are not universally accepted as scientifically valid in their original form in modern psychology. However, they continue to influence modern psychological thought and practice.
While Freud's theories have faced criticism, and many of his ideas are considered outdated today, the concept of defense mechanisms remains incredibly valuable. Understanding these mechanisms can give us insight into our own behaviors and help us navigate difficult emotions more effectively. Even though our understanding of psychology has evolved, the idea that we use certain unconscious strategies to protect ourselves is still very relevant. By recognizing these behaviors, we can better understand the challenges we face, especially in the workplace, and take steps toward personal growth.
Hierarchical Model of Defenses
Four Levels of Defense Mechanisms
George Eman Valiant Expanded on Sigmund Freud's work on defense mechanisms. Vaillant's model typically includes four levels of defense mechanisms, arranged from least mature to most mature:
Mature Defenses: The most adaptive defenses include humor, sublimation, and altruism.
Neurotic Defenses: More advanced defenses like intellectualization, repression, and reaction formation.
Immature Defenses: Less adaptive mechanisms like projection, passive aggression, and acting out.
Psychotic Defenses: The most primitive level, including delusional projection and psychotic denial.
Types of Defense Mechanisms
Mature Defenses
Humor: Using humor to cope with stress is one of the most effective mature defense mechanisms. For example, when a big project hits a roadblock, instead of getting overwhelmed, a team member makes a light-hearted joke to ease the tension. This not only reduces stress for everyone involved but also helps the team regain focus.
Sublimation: This involves channeling negative emotions into positive actions. Imagine an employee feeling frustrated by an unrealistic deadline. Instead of lashing out, they decide to put that energy into working more efficiently and finding creative solutions. Sublimation turns stress into productivity.
Altruism: Helping others can be a way to manage your own stress. In the workplace, this might look like someone volunteering to help a colleague who is overwhelmed, even when they themselves are under pressure. This act of giving not only supports the team but also allows the person to feel a sense of fulfillment and control.
Neurotic Defenses
Intellectualization: Imagine an employee who just received negative feedback on a project. Instead of acknowledging their emotions, they focus purely on the technical aspects of the feedback, dissecting it logically without addressing how it makes them feel. Intellectualization helps them avoid the emotional discomfort, but it also keeps them from fully processing their feelings.
Repression: This occurs when someone unconsciously pushes uncomfortable thoughts out of their awareness. For example, an employee might forget about a conflict they had with a coworker because it makes them anxious. While this can provide temporary relief, unresolved conflicts can resurface later and cause more issues.
Reaction Formation: This is when a person behaves in a way that is opposite to what they actually feel. In a workplace scenario, an employee might feel threatened by a new colleague’s skills but instead of admitting it, they go out of their way to compliment and befriend that person. This defense mechanism helps them mask their insecurities.
Immature Defenses
Projection: Projection is when we attribute our own unwanted feelings or traits to someone else. In the workplace, this might look like a manager criticizing an employee for being disorganized, when in reality, the manager themselves is struggling to keep track of tasks. This can lead to misplaced blame and create an environment of distrust.
Passive Aggression: This occurs when someone expresses their negative feelings in an indirect way. For instance, an employee might be upset about a decision their manager made but instead of speaking up, they start showing up late to meetings or missing deadlines. This behavior is a way of expressing their frustration without direct confrontation.
Acting Out: When emotions become too overwhelming, some people might act impulsively. Picture an employee who, after being criticized by their boss, slams their laptop shut and walks out of the meeting. Acting out is a way to release pent-up emotions but can be very disruptive in a professional setting.
What Can You Do to Get Out of Unhealthy Defense Mechanisms?
Defense mechanisms are a natural part of being human, but recognizing them is the first step to changing them. Here are some ways you can work through them:
Awareness
Start by observing your own reactions. Notice when you’re blaming others, making excuses, or avoiding situations. The more aware you are, the easier it becomes to recognize patterns and understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Changing Actions
Once you’re aware, try changing your actions. If you catch yourself projecting, take a step back and ask yourself what’s really going on internally. If you’re displacing stress, find healthier outlets – like exercise, meditation, or talking it out with a friend.
Thought Process
Challenge your thoughts. When you find yourself rationalizing, pause and ask if you’re being completely honest. What would happen if you admitted the truth, even just to yourself? Often, the fear of facing our own imperfections is worse than the reality.
Finding the root cause
Ultimately, these defense mechanisms are how our subconscious communicates something to us. If a person is lashing out at someone, it could be a symptom where the person is feeling unheard. It could be a real scenario or a made-up one in your mind. You can use your defense mechanisms as a key to unlock your subconscious mind. Without judging, you can be curious about what is going on in your mind.
Understanding these defense mechanisms can be transformative for all of us. We’re human – and defense mechanisms are part of being human. But when we recognize these behaviors in ourselves, we have the power to choose a different path. One where we’re more open, more collaborative, and a little kinder to ourselves and each other.
How Can Coaching Help You?
Coaching can be a powerful tool for overcoming defense mechanisms and developing healthier ways of coping with stress. Here’s how coaching can help:
Building More Emotional Awareness
Coaching encourages you to explore and understand your emotions in a safe, supportive environment. By building emotional awareness, you can begin to recognize when defense mechanisms are kicking in. This understanding is the first step in changing automatic responses and replacing them with healthier, more constructive reactions.
Reprogramming Your Thoughts
Often, our defense mechanisms are fueled by unproductive or negative thought patterns. Coaching helps you identify these thoughts and reframe them into more positive and realistic perspectives. By challenging irrational beliefs and habitual ways of thinking, you can reduce reliance on defense mechanisms and cultivate healthier responses to stress.
360-Degree Feedback
Receiving honest, well-rounded feedback is crucial for personal growth. A coach can facilitate 360-degree feedback from peers, subordinates, and supervisors, helping you see yourself more clearly. This process can reveal blind spots and defense mechanisms that may be hindering your success. A coach can then help you create actionable steps to address these issues and enhance your overall effectiveness.
Mindfulness Practices
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing your emotional reactions and staying present. Coaching often incorporates mindfulness practices to help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This heightened awareness allows you to respond to stressors in a deliberate manner rather than defaulting to automatic defense mechanisms.
Accountability
One of the most valuable aspects of coaching is accountability. A coach will work with you to set realistic goals and hold you accountable for making progress. This level of support ensures that you stay committed to changing your habits and overcoming defense mechanisms. Accountability helps you follow through on your intentions, making lasting personal growth possible.
Developing Better Coping Strategies
Coaching helps you identify and develop healthier coping mechanisms to replace maladaptive defenses. Instead of resorting to projection, acting out, or other harmful behaviors, coaching guides you toward constructive ways to manage stress, such as effective communication, emotional regulation, and problem-solving skills.
Enhancing Self-Reflection
Through coaching, you learn to reflect on your behaviors, decisions, and emotions in a deeper way. This self-reflection helps you understand the underlying reasons for your actions and identify patterns that might not serve you well. By gaining insight into your behavior, you can make more informed choices and reduce the influence of defense mechanisms.
Strengthening Interpersonal Relationships
Defense mechanisms often create barriers in our relationships. Coaching can help you improve your communication skills and build stronger, more authentic connections with others. By understanding your own behaviors and learning to express your emotions openly, you create a more trusting and supportive environment in the workplace and in your personal life.
Building Resilience
Life's challenges are inevitable, but how we respond to them makes all the difference. Coaching helps you build resilience by equipping you with tools and techniques to face difficulties head-on. Instead of avoiding or denying stressful situations, you learn to approach them with confidence and a proactive mindset. This shift not only reduces your reliance on defense mechanisms but also helps you grow stronger through adversity.
Defense mechanisms are part of our human experience, often arising to protect us from emotional discomfort. While they can serve a purpose, overreliance on them can hinder personal and professional growth. By recognizing and understanding these unconscious behaviors, we can make more intentional choices about how we respond to stress. This self-awareness, combined with supportive coaching, can lead to deeper emotional resilience, improved relationships, and a more fulfilling work life.
References
A History of Modern Psychology: Book by Duane P. Schultz and Sydney Ellen Schultz
Evidence Based Coaching Handbook: Putting Best Practices to Work for Your Clients: Book by Dianne R. Stober and Anthony M. Grant
Defence mechanism Wikipedia